Hello there,
Here's my dilemma.. I have kept a long distance relationship in the past, but insecurity was never an issue. I can admit that I may be a tad insecure in this relationship.. but I will let you decide.. Just last week I decided to ask my girlfriend if I could see her text messages on her celly account. Not something I would normally do I assure you.. Ive never even asked to see her phone.. but it was on my mind for quite some time.. and there was some evidence..
She use to be involved with another guy. She told me in the beginning that she disliked this fellow.. and that the last time she slept with him was over a year ago. I found out later that it was actually a few weeks prior to us dating. No biggy at the time.. I can justify her lying to me about that.
He happens to be her roommates girlfriends brother. So around our 1 month mark, he happened to call her on Thanksgiving. He said something along the lines of "You should be with me, I love you.. etc" in a voicemail. She broke down crying (keep in mind at the time I didn't even know he existed) and was afraid that I would leave her.. I was pretty much stunned and wasn't sure what to say. But I ended up asking her to look me in the eye and be honest, "Are you guys through..?". And she told me she didn't want anything to do with him, and that he was just trying to wreck her life. I wasn't mad.. just kind of confused about the whole situation.
Keep in mind he hangs out there.. spends the night regularly. I see no problem with that. It's his brothers house. So anyways, last week I read over her text messages (unfortunately no content, just the phone number with the time), and I come to find out that the first 2 months of our dating, she pretty much texted this guy every night.. for hours at a time.. with less frequent messages to him as our relationship grew. I'm sorry but texting someone at 2AM for hours at a time.. Can you even consider that harmless?
I mean she did a pretty good job hiding all of this from me.. I simply asked her.. what was your relationship with this guy for those two months. She keeps telling me she "can't remember". I asked her what they talked about.. she told me she couldn't remember... She knew it meant a lot to me for her to not stay in touch with this guy, but yet she still chose to do so. I mean you should be able to at least know what your intentions were.. I don't know..
SORRY FOR THE LONG READ..
But I'll try to sum this up. I broke up with her a week ago. And now we are back together.. because she went through a lot of trouble to tell me that her intentions were harmless and that she truely wanted to be with me. When I found out that she lied to me, kept up contact with this guy I can admit it crushed me. I treated this girl like a queen.. If it was a friendship between the two of them.. why couldn't she have simply told me so. Why did she need another male in her life, even if it was just a friendship.. There were a few questionable nights.. She lied to me a few times.. There was something going on..
Current situation. I'm living with my parents for the time being until I take a new job in about 2 months out of state. House rules.. no one spends the night over. She has to spend every night over there with this guy.. and it's truely wrecking me. I can't stop thinking about what could possibly be going on..
Just looking for any advice I guess..
AOL Health