See what happens is I work in a tiny little office with a girl my age. We have a lot in common. We both had a child in our teens and are now recently married. She decided to start trying to concieve after my husband and I had been trying for 1 1/2 years. I was so scared that day would come and it did, only sooner than I thought. They tried for one month and bam it happened. When she first got a negative result they decided it wasn't the right time and to wait another year, but the result was a false negative and she was. I had to take the next day off because I couldn't face her. Now she is six months and her belly is growing. She complains all the time about it.
My Mom got diagnosed with cancer a couple of months ago and just finished Chemo. I am very close to her and took it kind of hard.
When you ask if I hide my pain my answer would be most f the time becuse that is all my husband can seem to handle. He gets sick of talking about it because he doesn't think about it like i do.
Lately I have to put a smile on my face at work al day and listen to comments about the baby kicking and what to name it, and I smile to show my Mom I am strong and she just needs to worry about herself getting better and not me. By the end of the day I get home and give my 12 year old son what feels like the rest that I have. If there is tension between me and my husband I finally turn myself off because I just don't have the strength. It then never gets fixed. My husban and I have been seeing a counselor, but don't seem to talk about it enough. We are going to now, but he wants me to see the counselor alone.
I cry a lot. I don't understand why I want this so bad and I just wish I felt I had more of a support system at home.