The situation you are in is typical for people who are convinced that society wont accept them.  As a need to fit in, you are afraid that no one will accept your proclivities, so to avoid their judgement you decide to 'play along' with what you 'think' everybody expects of you.  The problem with that is, that people will never be approving of anything that you do, they all probably know about your sexual orientation already and wonder when you're going to realize it, so save yourself the worry and forget about whatever you 'think' everybody else wants and do for yourself and your wife what is best for you and her.  Good luck!