How do you handle the stress of the obligatory ...

Avoid discussing divisive and personal issues, like religion and politics, or other issues that tend to cause conflict. If the other person tries to engage you in a discussion that will probably become an argument, change the subject or leave the room.

In dealing with difficult people, don’t try to change the other person; you will only get into a power struggle, cause defensiveness, invite criticism, or otherwise make things worse. It also makes you a more difficult person to deal with.

Try to look for the positive aspects of others, especially when dealing with family, and focus on them. The other person will feel more appreciated, and you will likely enjoy your time together more.

However, don’t pretend the other person’s negative traits don’t exist. Don’t tell your secrets to a gossip, rely on a flake, or look for affection from someone who isn’t able to give it. This is part of accepting them for who they are.

Good luck and best wishes. 

I don't. :-)

I realized years ago that my family wasn't supportive of my goals and values. Being around them is extremely stressful, and I want my home to be a haven. We have a "no a**holes" rule for our home, meaning that we don't invite anyone into our home who cannot be trusted to behave well, and that if someone begins acting badly while here, we kick them out and don't invite them again. Many of my family members fall into that category, so we don't invite them here, and seldom see them anywhere else.

I was much more likely to put up with their nastiness earlier in my life, but after having my daughter I realized that I didn't want her around it. Over time, I've begun to use "would I want anybody to treat my kid that way?" as a yardstick for what I'll put up with for myself.

If the relative you're talking about isn't that bad, but you just don't want him in your home for some reason, try arranging to meet for whatever the occasion is in a neutral location, like a restaurant. That way, if things are stressful, you can always get up and leave.