So bear with me, this could be kind of long...
I went on my first date with my boyfriend of now 15 months our first week of college. We kept it super casual the first semester, so we didn't really find out a ton about each other, we just had fun. That December we started to get more serious so that's when I found out about his ex. He has four, but the most recent on before me was a super casual relationship with a girl a year younger the summer before he came to college. It was based on physicality. He was infatuated with her, but never wanted anything serious, but in the meantime she fell head over heels in love with him. When they broke up initially he kept it very open ending, even telling her "I love you, but, I'm going to Nashville," I believe giving her the idea that that was the only thing seperating them, not the fact that he never really felt anything serious with her. They even talked for a while when we had first started dating (no big deal, cause we were super casual)
None of this would be a huge deal, except for the fact that when she decided to come to college, she chose a college not only in the same city as ours, but DOWN THE ROAD, not five minutes from where we go. I had always had a feeling that she never got over him, but when she moved to where we lived those feelings were confirmed. He had always avoided talking about me to her, never wanting to hurt her feelings, but this had also led to the fact he never gave her true closure, just kind of let what they had after they broke up dwindle, and she found out about me through facebook. I feel like all of this leads to her not thinking I'm anything too serious in his life (which is totally the opposite) They have mutual friends, so they've always stayed in contact. Once she got to college, I don't know if things got worse, or if I just started finding out about them (I think it's the first, cause he had always been open with me about it) She would send him texts trying to make him jealous, constantly try to talk with him or contact him, basically just trying to keep a hold on him in her life. I know when she first got here she definitely was not over him at all, and probably had it in her head that they would be able to get back together. Now it may not be the first thing she thinks about all the time, but I know she would love for us to break up and would jump at any chance for them to get back together. It's completely innocent on his part, and I get that, but he thinks just because HE doesn't feel anything for her, it doesn't matter that he friends (more than friendLY, but FRIENDS) with her even if it's leading her on. She's never met me, which bothers me more (by this point they have talked about me). One day she asked him for a ride home (they live four hours away, AND she has a car, so completely unneccessary) and he never said no and this led to our first HUGE fight. I mean, to me, that's not okay, not when the girl is still crazy about him. And it would be a perfectly reasonable request i feel like to ask for that not to happen. I would never less than trust him with this, but I'm just sick of this girl thinking she has some hold on him, and thinking she can just barge into our lives. I don't know how to handle any of this. We've talked about it a lot, and I understand his side, but he doesn't seem to understand mine very well. We've set up a lunch to meet her (the three of us and one of his friends), and he's thinking it's just gonna solve everything (cause that's always been one of my things, she's never met me some i'm not a real person in her mind, and she's never seen how much he cares about ME), but i don't think it truly will. This girl hates me, and he doesn't see how much his friendship with her hurts me. I have no idea what to do (if you've read this far...THANK YOU)
