I understand how you feel... like you're not concidered, or even in the room, and constently left frustrated.  That really is an aweful feeling... like you've just been used, and should be getting paid or something!   In our society so many females are degraded and practically spat upon for having personal desires and wanting to enjoy sex!  The names like Slut, Tramp, and Whore when we even try to express ourselves in a sexual way!.. we're called Trashy.  Everywhere you go, it's such a double standard.  Even the Pornography most men prefer to watch is geared toward flat out Usery of a Womans body for 'their pleasure', not ours.      This reality really messes with our psycy and makes it hard to relax and be an equal sexual partner when it comes to getting our needs fullfilled in the bedroom.  You can find the most Classy Lady in the Universe, with the highest standards, and ethical code,  with worry that her Husband will think she's a slut, or even wonder if she's a Lady at all if she asks for alittle more than intercoarse.  What you're going through is a nightmare for a lot of women, whether they'll admit it or not.  So many Women have been stigmatized.   All you can really do is try to shake off your inhabitions, and try not to be overly self-conscience about your needs.  Test your Husband, and find out if you can trust him to be fun and understanding, maybe he is!  If he is, you got lucky, that's all I have to say!    Happy Mothers Day Ladies!