Help I am a girl in love with a girl and a boy

Hi,

   First of all I am not in favor of same sex relationships so I would say, stop going out with your woman friend and concentrate with your man.  You are just making your life complicated.  You can only have one person to love in order to be happy and not confused.

    I'm sure others would tell you differently.  My advice for you is to live a less complicated life.  You can only serve one master effectively.

I'd say listen to your heart, you are the one being selfish here. First of all, does your ex want to come back? Or is he back?

An ex is an ex for a reason. If you stayed apart for 16 months (it's a long time) there must be something you both decided to let go. Listen to your heart, is this because you missed him or did you miss being with a man? Is this habit or you really love him? Because if you do, you will have to let your girlfriend go. Same thing for her, is she worth the trouble?

You will lose both of them if you act this way, so whatever your heart decides, hurry.

"I am so confused, I keep going back and forth and soon neither one is going to want  me..."

You can't possibly make a decision while you're in this frame of mind so my advice is to not change anything until you know one way or the other. If you force yourself to decide for one or the other now, you're leaving yourself open to future second guessing your decision and I wouldn't be in that position.

It sounds to me as if you're in a kind of open relationship (he knows about her and she knows about him?) so if this is true there's a possibility that you won't make the decision, one of them will. So it may come down to the last man standing, er better make that the last person standing.

I don't have a problem with same sex relationships but generally speaking, bisexual people are romantic with their opposite (men and women) but they can enjoy sex with each other (girl and girl or guy and guy). so is it possible that the erotic part of your bisexual girlfriend is what attracts you the most?

Up front I am not in favor of same sex relationships, although I have had friends who were gay.  One of them is going to get tired of being "odd man out" so to speak and are not going to wait around for you to make a decision, so you need to take the reins, take control and move on holding your head high.  I am not in favor of self help books, either.    Step back, take up a hobby, maybe make a move to a new job or school, etc.  Not running away, just getting yourself out of the area to give yourself a chance to think it through and in the meantime you may meet someone else.

Ask yourself one question. Look at each of them and ask yourself, can I see myself spending my life with this person? And would that life be a job or a pleasure?

i feel that if you liked them... go 4 it. 9 years is a long time 2 b together with people. but i also feel that it may b better for you to find some other people.