Hi Katie -
Man, did you get hit and get hit hard with this incapacitation! There are compassionate doctors out there, it seems that you have to look a little harder to find them.
My first thought was to ask if you had any connections with patients who are suffering with the same illnesses and facing the same challenges. They may be able to give you the names of doctors who have worked well for them and with them. Word of mouth, so to speak. Internet forums might be a good place to learn the name of a decent doctor in your area.
Are you still in contact with anyone from your old employment as a nurse? You might be able to get specific doctors' names from them. Doctors that will listen.
I can hear the frustration and despair in your writing. Don't give up, Katie. Keep fighting until you find a doctor (or a nurse practitioner!) that is compassionate.
Kim