Help! i dunno what to do with my boyfriend.. and his mom

hi there. lately i've been feeling pretty crappy in my relationship with my boyfriend. we've been dating for 2 years.. and though we have problems, we've been working them out.. until now. Lately i've been having a problem with his mom. its nothing personal.. and i have no harsh feelings.. its just been difficult because i feel she can be hurtful.. and worst of all my boyfriend doesn't seem to mind. They've been simple comments mostly.. but he always treats it the same; she's joking. If she truly is, i'm cool with that but it doesn't appear that way to me and when i try to state that, i basically get told "shes joking and thats that" and then he starts getting mad at me for something i didn't feel i started! Our last fight involved him getting defensive (as per usual when it comes to her) over her anxiety. I wasn't undermining it at all but i don't think its as bad as its made out to be. I'm not 100% but i've always believed in helping yourself get better by possibly putting ourselves in the situations we fear to see there not that bad. She constantly expects him to call her to let her know if he arrived ok (which i don't mind) but it stopped us from going somewhere once which i didn't like! i wanted to be spontanious but he had to call her and let her know.. but his dad had gone to bed so we were gonna have to go all the way home just to go out again when we should have been allowed to in the first place. I expressed maybe she could suck it up one day and really try to face the anxiety so he can do what he wants and i get told its not possible. and that i'm undermining he condition and that i'm ignorant.. meanwhile she's undermined my situations and he just sits there. The worst was when she just came out and said that she didn't care about me and all he said was "thats not very nice" and he wants massive props for doin somethng your suppose to! and not that well i might add. and to top it off.. i got the whole "she's joking" bit.. again. I don't know what to do. I'm scared i'm getting myself into a massie hole i won't be able to get out of. Im not compeitive with her but it's starting to take tht route because i don't feel like his number 1 concern.. i don't get leeway.. and I"M starting to get defensive over everything now because i'm tired of the games. I've been reading advice forums on stories that seem to resemble mine but then i have to leave because other girls always seem to have a guy that knows when to step in.. and sticks up for his girl. thats all i want! i want to be what he worries about the most because i've only given him that this whole relatoinship.. and if it doesn't stop.. i'm gonna have to leave. advice? anyone in the same postion? i'm just sick of feeling alone.. since i'm old by my boyfriend that im the only one that has these problems.. and no one would feel like this.. please! prove him wrong!