Going insane

This depends on your daughter... if this is unwanted contact he is having with her and she is afraid of him... go to the police and get an order of protection... if he was just recently released from prison he may be on parole or some kind of community supervision... instead of calling and ripping him... call the authorities and give them an earful about the havoc and fear he is putting on you and your child... dont call him... you are justified for your feelings however it is a crime if you call him and threaten or harass... DO NOT GIVE HIM THE SATISFACTION!!! Good luck:))

I am going with your question which is "How can I deal with all of this hatred and anger?"

I strongly suggest that you seek out a therapist/counselor who is an expert on abuse and oppression.  Your ex husband is revictimizing your daughter, and, incidentally, you.  A perpetrator will often seek to apologize, but the name of the game is not his feeling better, it is your daughter being protected.  It is possible for her and you to seek a restraining order which would prohibit him from contacting you.  I would suggest that both of you instigate this.  The other thing is, I don't know what his parole situation is, but, calling his parole officer is another way to get information about your rights in this situation.  He may have violated his parole by contacting your daughter. 

For you personally, though, I would definitely suggest counseling.

Oh, and, just in case, your daughter absolutely needs to be in counseling.

Well. I have no idea how she forgave him (if she did.) If she did, then she is a very wonderful person, and you should be proud. But, the same thing happened to me by my grandfather. I was around the same age as your daughter was. (I am now 16.) I understand the rage you have. I really do. And the best thing to do is (as hard as this seems) : let it go. As long as your daughter is mentally healthy, then you shouldn't worry. And maybe you should tell her that neither one of you owe him a second chance. You don't owe him anything. I hope she doesn't involver herself with him. Forgiveness is fine. But thats all he deserves. Probably MORE than he deserves. If you do end up talking to him, just explain what you feel. Let him know what it did to everyone, especially his little girl, and also remind him what he did to himself. There is no way to come back from doing something so sick and shameful. And perhaps it is better to wait until he's at a distance from where you live.

I would recommend not contacting him and letting him know how you really feel about him since it most likely will not hurt him or make him feel bad but only give him the feeling of control and power in the situation. "He who angers you, conquers you!" Instead hit him where it hurts and since he was in prison he most likely is on parole and has probation expectations. Find out who his probation officer is and have a little one to one with him regarding his current actions and fear of what he may do. Your daughter may feel pressured into seeing him so I do suggest she talk with someone and seek legal assistance.