Girlfriends Controling Parents

Your girlfriend is 19. She is LEGALLY an adult and can LEGALLY make her own decisions.

That being said, however, I have to ask if this is also partly a cultural thing? Is your girlfriend naturally submissive, is it due to the depression or is it part of her culture that the child (of any age) submits to the parents?

If it is solely due to the depression, then I think all you can do is to encourage your girlfriend to get out of that house before she is destroyed.

She (or you) might be able to make a case for abuse; but I'm not sure if it would stick since your girlfriend is over the age of 18.

You might try contacting a hotline for those experiencing abuse and going over this problem with one of the counselors; they might better be able to suggest what you can try to help your girlfriend.

Do they belong to a church or other religious group? If so, perhaps one of the church elders can intercede.

What about your girlfriend's doctor or therapist? Do you know who they are? Do they know you? If so, perhaps you can enlist their help to make sure that your girlfriend is not trapped in this situation.

I would suggest you call the police, but I don't think it would help. If the parents have that strong of a hold over your girlfriend, then they would just make her lie and say nothing was wrong.

I don't know what else to suggest, other than you should keep encouraging your girlfriend to break away from her household so she can get stronger and stand up for herself. Her parents are abusive and she needs help, but I think she must be the one to ask for help; not you.

Good luck to you both.

I'm with Grandma - if your girlfriend wants to leave, she can. If her parents refuse to let her do so, she can call the police and tell them she's being held against her will. That's a felony - false kidnapping.

The fact that she's "mentally ill" doesn't matter, unless a judge declares her incompetent. That's unlikely to happen--UNLESS she actually tries to hurt herself!

If she leaves and her parents try to hurt her or you, again, the police can help. If she has reason to fear that they'll cause trouble, she can get a restraining order.

If she does leave, it would be a very good idea for her to complete a health care power of attorney naming an adult other than her parents as the person who can make decisions for her if she is unable to take care of herself. That way, even if she does need to be hospitalized, whoever she names will be making decisions for/with her, NOT her parents (who would otherwise be given that authority).

Hello  Thomas,   The  girl   is   age 19  , She  can   make  her  own  decisions   Also    If  her  parents  refuse  to  let  her  leave  that  is  false    inprisonment  , They  can  get   in  trouble  for   that..

Her  moms  defintely   feeling   her  head  with  a  bunch  of  bad  stuff  cause    her  parents  are   "Seriously Mentally Ill",  You  could send   a  social  worker  out  to  her  house ,  So  her  parents  don't  do   anymore  abuse  to  her ..

One  of  the  things  hospitals  ask  now , When  your  getting  checked  out    at  the  ER  , "Is  there  anyone  doing  any abuse to you"?  Since   your  girlfriend  is   still  age   19 , I believe   Childrens  Services   can  help   your   gf   out  until   she  reaches  age  21  , Which   is  consider  age  of   Adult ,  But  legal  age  is  18 for  anyone    who  wants  to   date  or  be  with  who  ever   they want ..

Thomas   please    do   something  But   if   you  love  your   gf , You  will    fight   for   her  safety    But   whatever   you   do ,  Please  do not   go   to   her  house ,   Only   talk   to  her ,  When   she  calls  you  ,  Don't   call  her  house ,   Don't   send  any  emails   unless  she    emails   you   first ..

P.S.  My  advice   take  things  the  legal  way  , You  will  not  get  hurt    by     being   a   law  biting   citizen

Don't   through  other  people  to  get  to  talk  with your  gf , Let  her  be   the  one   Or   like   I  said    You  need  to  get   someone  to  make   her   life  safe  for   her ,  She  should  have  been  out  of her out   2   years  ago   by  the  sounds  of   things

P.S.  Remember   do  things  the  legal  way,  Hey  Social  workers will  take  action  , They   will  do  complete  research  and investigations

I understand your point. Try and talk to your girl and let her know how important it is for her and the well-being of your relationship that she take a STAND against her parents. She's no longer a kid and it is now time for her to be accountable for her HAPPINESS. If you are their for her now,explain how you endeavor to always be there for her. She has to consider you and how you feel. My hats off to you for showing her how much you love her and how you have gone out of your way to get along with her family. Continue to keep in mind her illness and how it may affect her ability to make decisions that may generally be easier for most people. She is reaching out to you so continue doing whatever is possible to let her know that your thoughts are about her and her health DAILY. I hope I've given you some sound advice.

I have a daughter that is bipolar. It's hard to diagnose let alone live with. If her parents are effected by this they may be over protecting her not thinking she can make her own desicions and live with it. I wouldn't suggest sneaking around the parents to see each other as it seems the have their own worries also. Why not try to plan an event around the family so they can get to know you better and they won't be so fast to judge you . Perhaps they are afraid of their daughter getting lost in a realtionship only to be hurt and become more depressed.

Thomas I feel for you on this one. Your girlfriend's 19, you can take legal action and I strongly suggest you do. It's great you have your parents to back you up. Take action now before it's too late.