Future in shambles need desperate help please i appreciate it please please please

I'm living in the USA. I need real advice here. Please don’t make fun of me or say something stupid, this is my future at stake. Basically I think I failed most of my midterms and don’t think I can pull off an A on finals coming up in two weeks, after finals I finish my freshman year. I’m on academic probation and when I talked to my counselor he said I would probably be kicked out if I didn’t get A’s. Either I’m hoping they’ll let my mistakes slide, or I just don’t know what to do. I can’t get kicked out, my family would KILL me, and I can’t tell them the truth, it’s either I have to withdraw and say I want to go to medical school in India or somewhere else. That’s my only other option or wait to be kicked out which really isn’t an option. Basically I really need some honest advice here I really do. I’m not stupid at all, my decisions may have been  very stupid, but I’m very lazy and procrastinate 24-7, and therefore that’s why I failed in my classes. Please help me I really need it, this is such a big secret in my life I’m keeping from everyone but some friends, so please help. If it comes down to withdrawing, I want to go to medical school in the UK because I heard India is too conservative for girls, and at least I want to live a fun life. Please help, thank you very much.



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108 thumbs up

Your creative mind is your ticket to greatnesss. 

I suggest that you go to a time management coach. As you say (and I believe you 100%), your problems have to do with managing your time and getting your life organized in order for you to accomplish your goals in life. You need to do this as soon as possible, because as you mentioned, you only have a short time left until you have to take you finals. Good luck and I know you can do it.


Posted 6 months ago ( permalink )
rochester was invited by Yedda to answer this question.

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First we have to find what your issue is, because it doesn't start with your parents. I assume that there's a bit of an issue with money and standard of living and if you get caught, yes? The thing is, it's possible that you could find a way to cover this up and move on to another school, but how can you be sure you won't do the very same thing once you're not being watched?

Do you want to be a doctor? Because you know that after this year, there's just another of work and another after that and another after that. It's not exactly a great occupation to start if you're not positive you want to put that time in. Are there other fields you'd like to go into? Has part of your procrastination come from resenting the image of the lie you're living? 

You may think that telling your family isn't an option, but how stupid will they permit to being and for how long? Are they paying your tuition? When you secretly apply to another med school, do you think that they'll let you right in with failing grades and an academic probation in your suitcase? What will you do if you CAN'T get in to another school right now?

I'm not admonishing your idea of secrecy. Sometimes lying can come in handy, but you have to weigh the odds here. If your family wanted to find out every grade you've made since you were 7, they can do so if they're footing the school bill. So what are the odds that you even CAN pull off that idea? And if not that idea, then what?

If you're going to have to have a conversation about this with them at some point, better to make it voluntary on your part. If you think you're panicking now, wait til you get a phone call from your family saying they know. Do you not think it better to come up with what exactly you WOULD like to do, and go tell them that you'd like to switch concentrations and/or go to a different post-grad school?

If none of that helps, and the worst happens, and you get busted and your parents disown you (which, for most parents is too hard to do) then my only advice is that you will be okay. I was you once. Slightly different circumstances, but the same problem essentially. I'm 30 now. And I'm not dead, homeless or unhappy, and my parents still love me. 

All things in life can be answered by looking within. Corny and trite, but still accurate. You're never going to buckle down and do work unless there's a real motivation in it for you, and only you can know what impetus will trigger your diligence. Until you can know that, everything else will be a band-aid on the problem. I think you might be tired of running, so maybe that's something to think about.

I wish you the best luck and I'd love to hear an update.

You're not a failure. They don't ask for help. 


Posted 6 months ago ( permalink )
kdeaton77 was invited by Yedda to answer this question.

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