I am married with a 12 year old daughter and in ...

There's an old adage: The grass always seems greener on the other side. Before you make a decision like this you should look at what you are doing to put the passion back into you marrigage. All marriges go through a dry spell and it's up to the participants to bring back the sparks. You probably loved your spouce at least once( your child). If she is a decent person, don't walk out until you are absolutely sure you can deal with the fallout once your mate finds out that the person she loves is having an affair. Is the person you are in love with ready to take on a new family? Is she ready to committ to you and your child? Remember: people will tell anything, show you everything that will make your spouce look like she's nothing, but is she ready to give you forever? There's a 80-20 rule. Don't give up your 80% to end up 20%

I reached that stage in my first marriage. It was because I had lost all respect for the man (he was cheating because my job required me to travel). I too stayed for years for the kids sake. In the end, I realized that I love me more and left a marriage that left me empty. After two marriages(second husband could not handle my traveling either), I realized that I married for the wrong reason. I thought I wannted a life in the burbs with the picket fence and I found men who want that same thing. The reality was that I could not live up to the image. I love my job. I love traveling. I loved being married. But the men that I chose were boring as hell so I lost interest..

Hi Bernie, ------------ Now it's much more clear than in your other question. If that is the case I don't see any reason that you stay. Get a divorce and find a man that you deserve (and the you feel deep love and attraction to him). ----------- Best regards,

just a thery here but, Maybe the reason your husband seems so dull is that you are floating on the endorphines of your affair. If you want fire in your marriage you can have it shortly but, it requires work. As far a finding the man of your dreams, there aint one! Let me say this, 8 years from now this new lover that you are hot for if you and he stay together the only thing that will be different in that relationship is the face and the name. Habitually, we choose the same personality type over and over, thus giving us the same result. Heres the deal, fix your marriage and your mindset. When you start looking for problems you will see more than are there. If I may throw God into this I will say this. It's basic but it works. A triangle. God is the peak, you are the left and the hubby the right leg of the triangle. The closer you and you husband get to God the closer you get to each other as you move up the leg of the triangle together. You must know that divorce is never worth it. If you really believe that divorce is the answer no one on here is going to change your mind but, If you are serious about living life to the fullest and experiencing a true happy ending in your marriage it lies in your head. Happiness comes from within and not the person promising it to you in an affair. Hope this is a counterbalance that helps!

Bernie, life is too short to not be happy.  Kids are much aware of Mommie and Daddy problems from when I was a child.  I feel that it is best for you NOT to stay in a relationship that is no longer the way it was...the way you thought it would be. I too am in a situation but I do not have kids and believe it or not I am still here with him.  My reasoning is totally non-selfish.  He does not have any family that he cares about let alone liking or loving them.  I feel he will be at a loss without me.  I am much older than you and I have seen too many young people not taking bs from spouses.  They pack up and off they go.  I applaud them.  They are not subjecting their kids to mental stress and possibly trauma and the parent can think clearly without the pressures.  I say go for it! Being unhappy is truly not what life is about.  Brenda