hey shannon!! wow very deep question, (this is off sub. but u should be a writer!) anyways......if i were u i would do pros and cons, the pros (postive things) about staying with him verses the cons (bad things), once you have devolped a perfect list, weigh the options...looking at what you have it seems like your cons are greater than your pros, if i were you i would talk to him about what he wants 2 do, and put those into account.... and also take time off, go some where from ur past and figure stuff out from their you would be amazed how much it helps you think.

i am sorry to be synical, but in the end, i dont think that this relationship is going 2 work out. you are young! and as you said would like to have children in some way or another, end this, but stay in touch with him (its always good 2 have friends) but i really do not beileve that this man is ur future soul mate, no matter how many hours of cousleing u have...

 keep searching!!! u deserve a good man!! (and one who does not cheat) 

Well, if I were you I would start by writing up a list comparing how your first marriage was for you, compared to how this next relationship is for you. honestly, his mother is probably spending all her time planning how to control his life, and she's doing pretty well. My own mother does that with all the females in the family who are at least one generation younger, but it goes right over my head, so I don't have much respect for guys who allow their mothers to control them, although I do understand how it happens, and that it's a real problem for you. You seem to understand that his mother isn't one of those who "mean well", she's just a flat out bitch. So that's what she is then, and you'll just keep going around and around with this thing until you break down. Listen, she couldn't drive you off herself, so she's messing up other people's lives as collateral damage in order to get you that way. But listen, you say this other girl is pregnant with his child? I hear you putting that in the context of it being just another problem in you retaining control of him. That's a MAJOR problem, if not a deal breaker, isn't it? Perhaps you need to step back and consider that you might be turning into his mom yourself, which would be her ultimate triumph, and probably her goal from the start.  Sorry if that upsets you, but your rope is getting REALLY twisted. It appears that you've gotten the fact that it doesn't matter WHO you are, only THAT you are, now try extinction as a response to her agressiveness and your boyfriend's insecurity. You cannot fix this thing I don't think, but you might be able to train it into something you can live with. Does that sound like enough for you though?

Hi Shannon,

Everyone has said  some insightful things. You as a person seem very insightful as well, and often seem to already know the very answers you are seeking. I am a Relationship Coach and deal with these types of issues often. If you would like additional insight into your issue or would like some professional advice, please feel free to email me and we can talk. DeannaLorraine@Elysium-Coaching.com 

Good luck in your decisions,

DeAnna