my fiance and i live in seperate boroughs about 35 minutes away. He works 2 jobs (both are an hour & 15 mins away from me). He leaves his house in the morning and works til 9:30pm. After work he goes to the gym across from his job (because he is trying to get in shape for the wedding) By the time he gets out its 11 something, by the time he would come see me, it would be past midnight, and hes tired and wants to go to sleep to get up for work in the morning. This is 3 days out of the week. The other 4 days.. he works his 2nd job in addition to the 1st. So when he gets out at 9:30pm instead of the gym, he goes to his other job where he works till 4am.. Goes home. sleeps and wakes up to go to job #1 again.. If he gets a day (from 1 job) we spend most our time handling wedding meetings, contract signings and finance and other necesary things, then end up arguing over something little, then it ruins the mood for the day..now were both in a bad mood, he's off to work and the process starts again. It doesnt help that i am not used to this, we used to see eachother everyday before he started this 2nd job less than a year ago. We've talked about this soo many times, he knows how i feel, he'll make an effort for a week and it goes back to being the same way. From today I havent seen him in a week! (Sometimes it may be more) This is ridiculous for me. He misses meetings, church, family get togethers; parties, everything. I get tired of always being the one going everywhere with out him in where he should be. He does nothing but work. and he cant even talk at work. He keeps telling me that he's working for us, and he needs to be able to pay for the wedding (ignoring the fact my parents are paying for half) and other things. But It is not necesary we are not in defecit, nor do i feel it is worth our relationship. (which aside from this issue is great). I have been putting up with this for long enough, i dont think i have any more patience in me, and we can not seem to come to an understanding. I am really being pulled away from him the more we are apart, what is the point of working to pay for a wedding when there ends up being NO wedding because the person you were marrying was tired of having an absentee partner. Ive been neglected in the past and ended up finding comfort and attention from someone else, and he knows this. But i do not want this to happen with him I've talked to people and ive tried thinking positively and i cant help feeling out of options, and a part of me just wants to walk away and let him drown in his work and gym.. [PS] I only work 3 days a week, he does not want me to get a 2nd job because i wont have time to handle the things that i handle for the both of us. Ive also left a second job i had because it made him unhappy. He even offered if leaving his 2nd job would make me happy then he'll do it. But then took it back, and said he needed it. Im so fed up and actually quite hurt. (maybe im just sensitive, idk). advice?
