Again, this is a very difficult situation. Your husband cannot cut ties completely because he has children and grandchildren with his ex wife. You just need to be confident and remind yourself that despite his past with her, he has chosen to spend his present and future with you. He loves you and is married to YOU. The best thing that you can do is be the bigger person and every time that she tries to push your buttons, just smile and remind yourself why she is doing it; because she is jealous of you! By letting her bring you down you are allowing her to affect you exactly how she hopes to, in a way that could disrupt your marriage. Sometimes people don't realize what they have lost until someone else has taken it, and that is HER problem not yours!! All you can do is make sure that there is a clear understanding with your husband of the appropriate ways to deal with her when she is present and/or on the phone. Ask him to prioritize your comfort over anything else. He should be willing to do whatever possible to make you are comfortable in any awkward situation. You need to accept that she is not going anywhere and as horrible as it may seem, the reality is that she is part of the family. Like any irritating relative you have to ignore her. Love your husband and work on your relationship and level of happiness with him. That is the best way that you could get her back as well! Be happy and don't let her get to you! Good luck.
