Ex-Girlfriend is Pregnant, Possibly Lying

This may take a second to lay out, but here goes.  My Ex-Girlfriend is pregnant and I'm worried that it's mine and that she's lying about it.  She is back with  her ex-husband and says it is his which is what I want to believe, but...  When we were together, she had a period that started on the 14th or 15th of November.  We had sex twice between November 27 and the first week of December (right in her ovulation period if I'm correct).  Right before we broke up, her period in December came late, around the 20th and she said it was pretty short with not much flow.  She got back together with her ex-husband then and she found out she was pregnant on Jan. 21st.  I figured I was fine because I assumed that they concieved in early January, but she said that was not the case, it was from Christmas Eve or Christmas (not in her ovulation period).  Not 100% sure if they had sex after that or not.  They offically got back together when she found out that she was pregnant.  She had originally posted on a blog the night she took the home test that the due date would be August 20th, but then switched it to Sept.26th.  She had her doctors appointment on Jan 28th and she said the doctor said she was 5 weeks pregnant, but do they do any tests at that point or do they just base that on when she said the first day of her last period is?  We no longer talk, she doesn't want him to find out that we were together, and we work for the same company which would provide a big problem.  I want nothing to do with her, but at the same time, I'm a responsible human being and I'm not gonna go through life having a child in the world that I'm not involved with.   So based on the information I have given, what are the chances that I am actually the father?  I appreciate any clues you can offer because I'm really lost on what to do and I can't get any information out of her.  Thanks!

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Rachel Inbar
705 answers
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Fertility Stories - infertility experiences of people like you.

Hi,

The pregnancy can be dated very accurately by ultrasound, particularly in the first trimester. However, if you're not there & she is lying to you, there isn't really much that will help.

If she found out that she was pregnant on January 21st, then most likely she got pregnant sometime around January 7th - unless she waited a long while to test... I think the important thing is to figure out what, of the information that you have, is fact & what isn't. She may tell you that they only had sex right around Christmas, but it may not be true...

Good luck & feel free to contact me in the future if you have more information.

Best regards,
Rachel Inbar
www.FertilityStories.com
Posted 7 months ago ( permalink )
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OronD
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Love is the battery of life....

Hi,


Let's examine the facts:  She had her period on Nov 14th.  You had sex twice between Nov 27 and Dec 1st (yes that is round the ovulation date).  At Dec 20th she received (a bit early) her period.  Than she returned to her husband and got preganant.  If at Dec 20th she had a real period (not some kind of discharge) and you didn't have sex since then, than you can't be the father.  The dates (weeks, months of pregancy) are counted from the last day of the last period (so in her case it's around Dec 24th).  So today she is in her 8th week.....  To sum it up: If your sescription is right, and she got her period on Dec 24th, you are most probably NOT the father. 
Best regards,
Posted 7 months ago ( permalink )
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OK, thank you!  That makes me feel a little better.  I was basing this on the Ovulation charts I was getting off the internet for her periods starting Nov. 14th and Dec. 20th.  I had read that a much lighter/shorter and late period like she described in December may be implantation bleeding or a sign of pregnancy and that the first day of her last normal period would be used to caculate due date and conception and what not.  However, I did not know they used ultrasound on the first, initial visit (Thanks Rachel) and hopefully that is where she got the initial 5 week diagnosis.  Thank you both for your help!
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jessilyn
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Spreading the love since 1978 Tongue out

not true, OronD--it is very common for a woman to have a period of sorts after conception.  This is known as spotting.  I myself had this with both of my pregnancies, and it was confirmed that I was pregnant before the "spotting" period with ultrasounds (and the actual birthdays of my children) in both cases.
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jessilyn
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Spreading the love since 1978 Tongue out

I really hate to burst your bubble, but it is not routine to have an ultrasound done at the first doctor's appointment.  They will only do an ultrasound that early if you have no idea when the conception took place.  Even then, sometimes they make you wait until the 4th or 5th month, when ultrasounds are more commonly done.  I think your best bet is to wait and see when the baby is actually born.  Count back 40 weeks or so, and if the dates are anywhere close, you need to get a  court order to have a DNA test done.  If you are in fact the father, you will have parental rights, as determined by the court system. As for her not telling her husband that she was with you, who cares?  Your concern should be for your potential child, and not for her.  Also, how fair would it be to the other guy to raise someone else's kid and not know it?  Really, it sounds like the poor baby needs you around--the mom does not sound so stable!!
Posted 6 months ago ( permalink )
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