If Not Now, When?

Estranged Daughter turning 18, have not spoken to her in 3 plus years.

My daughter has not spoken to me in 3 years as I found her doing unmentionables at 14 on her computer, drinking, smoking pot and her attitude was that she wanted to kill me. She has an IQ of 159.  She was cutting herself and blamed me for not loving her.  I had her at 42 as is her dad the same age as I am.  He has custody as I gave temporary custody to him originally for him to get her excellent mental help and instead he just put her in a normal high school.  I do not get report cards, nor anything thing nor does he answer my email.  I am on SSD for panic disorder and agoraphobia and want to see my daughter graduate from High School and want my daughter just to speak to me.  What can be done?  She turns 18 in May.  Her dad is very controlling as he was a lt col in the special forces army.  I do not know what can be done at this point as I have not had much if any comments from her since she was 14 almost 15 and if I get any, she tells me I am stalking her and she will have me arrested.


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If you have not done so, your first call should be to a lawyer to clarify what rights you have as her mother.  Secondly, you should find yourself an excellent family therapist who can listen to all of the particulars of your case and help you to sort out your options.  Family therapists are taught to understand human relationship systems and depending on what the circumstances are, one can help you to devise a strategy to contact either your ex-husband, someone he trusts, your daughter, her school, etc. in a way that will lead to your being able to re-establish communication.  No matter how much your daughter may be angry with you or resentful, all daughters and all sons deep down want to have a satisfying relationship with their parents, so there should be some strategy that will work.  Good luck!


Posted 7 months ago ( permalink )
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I pray that God will heal and restore your relationship with your daughter. I have a daughter that I have only had once. I am her father and miss her deeply. It is very comforting and I do agree, that all people want a good healthy and loving relationship with their father and mother. I am a social worker. From what I have seen, no matter the circumstance, people want to be able to give and receive love with their parents.

 

 

 


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