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Divorce and children's ability to phone the other parent

My son and daughter-in-law are getting a divorce. There are 3 children sharing equal time with each parent. The boys, age 6 and 10 are not allowed to phone their father while they are at their mother's house cause they have to "keep the line open" so their father purchased the 10 year old a cell phone with parental controls so they could keep in touch and talk to their dad every day if they want to. They are very close to their father as boys are at these ages and miss him a great deal. The 10 year old is mature and responsible enough for such a phone but the mother takes the phone away when he is with her and wont let him call his dad. She gives him the phone when he goes to his dads house but he doesnt need it then. I think that he should be allowed to have the phone in the evening and morning to call his dad anytime he feels he needs to. And there are only 3 numbers he can call, his mom, his dad and a grandmother so he cant abuse it. What do you think?


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If there are parental controlls limiting who the 10 year old can call, then without more information I can only say that the mother seems vindictave against the father.  But,  we don't really know if the father just wants to keep in touch with his kids, or spy on the activities of his ex-wife through his kids.


Posted 6 months ago ( permalink )
Searching For TS was invited by Yedda to answer this question.

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the father is not trying to spy on the mom but rather to keep the lines of communication open with the boys. They had been upset several times in the past when they wanted to phone their father and the mother always came up with an excuse (have to keep the line open, cant find my cell ,etc) as to why they can not  call him so the father bought a cell phone for them to call him anytime they want and the mother takes it away when he gets there and wont let them make any calls.


Posted 6 months ago ( permalink )
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WL
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He needs to make note of it, and make sure that in the divorce decree, it is stated that the child is allowed to have the cell phone.  If the divorce were finalized, her keeping a phone from the child that the father has paid for would be against court orders because each parent is to allow the natural developement of the parent / child relationship without interference.  If he wanted to try to have the greater custody of the children, this issue could be brought up to show that she is interfering and would not be a good choice for primary gaurdianship. 

 If she is doing this with the phone, I can almost guaranty that she will try to prevent him from seeing the kids if she gets custody.  If she does anything to prevent him from seeing the kids, even if she tells him the kids are sick during his visitation time, he must make a police report each and every time she does this.  Start from day one.  My husband was "understanding" with all the "plans" his kids had, and did not file reports.  Now, his rights have been stripped.  Part of the reasoning behind this is that he had not seen his kids.  Your son will not be "the bad guy" if he simply tries to enforce his visitation, but he will be a "bad parent" if he does not spend time with them.  If he is in California, tell him to fight for full everything.  California is very "female" when it comes to this.  My husbands ex agreed to shared everything, but later had him stripped.


Posted 5 months ago ( permalink )
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