Distressed furniture - Shabby Chic, is based on 18/19 Century white wash finishes that aged over time through natural attrition and cleaning procedures. To emulate the look is not that difficult, but personal preference and aesthetic judgement will dictate whether you are satisfied with your end result.
Apply a wash of watered down acrylic paint over the raw wood surface (Do not use oil based paints for this procedure ) - about 10% is generally enough. Paint coating wants to be washy and you should be able to see through it relatively easily. Apply further coats till you build your paint layers - usually one or two coats, then distress edges and flat surfaces with either or both 000 steel wool and 800-1200 grit wet and dry sand paper, keep sandpaper wet, have a bowl of water at hand to keep it wet. The wet slurry will assist in cutting the paint coats. Continue to add new coats of wash paint to areas that need it and don't worry too much about putting on too much paint, you can always cut it back using the above method.
You might also try methylated spirits/white spirits to wear away acrylic paint as this will remove acrylic paint in a controlled manner, if done carefully.
(If you are painting a surface and don't know what was painted on it previously you can determine paint type by using this test to see if old paint is water based or oil based paint; just rub with a cloth dipped in fluid for about 15-30 seconds, if paint comes off, it's water based paint (acrylic), if oil based paint, it wont come off at all).
Many folk use an underwash with a pastel coloring added to it-say, a soft blue, or pastel color of your choosing. This coloration gives a suble color caste to your white top wash coating(s).
Generally, no varnishes or polyurethanes are applied over the top, but there is no rule that says you can't do it, especially if you put coffee or tea cups on the surface, such coatings protect the finish and are easy to clean, but the distressed finish is compromised to some degree.
I'm sure there are other methods to achieve this effect. This is the one I know.
