Disowned Mother

Hi Patty. I would love to know WHY he has disowned you. Obviously, you have hurt him, or possibly he is a stubborn person?? IF you have done something hurtful, I would think you could apologize. Send a card with a note. Life is too short to argue with the people we love. 22 years is a long time to hold a grudge, (for both of you, I'm sorry to say!). You don't have to go into detail or explaination, just simply say you are truly sorry and would like to make up these precious lost years.  If HE is not talking to you for his own selfish reasons, that will be more difficult for the two of you to connect, BUT it can be done.  I would still send some type of coorespondence asking for a reunion.  Sadly, too many of us don't understand the importance of good communication, which can lead to such pain.  This has been a very hard period  of time for both of you, and no matter who is to blame, it needs to be addressed, forgiven, and accepted.  Being too proud to forgive someone who is sincere is a horrible sin, in my opinion. I truly wish you well and I sincerely hope for a good outcome. Make a move TODAY!!

Dear Mother, After 22 years, it is going to be difficult to reconnect with him. It sounds like you must have had some tiff in order for the scars to remain so deep after all this time. Either that or you didn't have a very close relationship with him to begin with. I would begin by making sure that YOU harbour no bitterness in your heart towards him at all over whatever it is that started this mess. Whether you are a praying person or not, forgiveness is the key to making sure this works. You need to make sure that you don't approach him with any ideas that you will be able to guilt him in any way shape or form once you have made contact with him. He is a grown man who has been surviving on his own without you for all this time, so you will be the outsider looking in. Advice from you will not be welcome, and guilt from you will just recreate the rift. Go to him in all humility, tell him you are sorry for wronging him, take ALL the blame(even if you caused NONE of it), and tell him you would like to start over. Ask him for forgiveness, and just put the ball in his court. You really can't do more than that but pray. I know this sounds harsh, but I don't know how to soften it up. You want it to work, and this is the one best chance that you have. I will be praying that you have great results! Saremks

You got some good answers.

I can only say good luck, and don't lose heart. It won't be easy, but you should know you did your best to get back in touch with him.