Disobedient child at school

My Mother-in-law told me a long time ago......You can't expect your child to mind outside the home if YOU don't make them mind at home!!! 

When you tell your child to do something do you sometimes just let them slide and not do it?  You must enforce respect at home!  They need to learn that their behavior is unacceptable and that there are concenquences they will pay for not respecting adults! 

This was a hard lesson for me to learn! But it worked!

Best of luck!

Most importantly - BE CONSISTENT!  Gonka had the right idea, although it is not about respecting adults, but respecting people in general, and respecting your rules. 

What you can do it set firm rules.  And be consistent.  You should reward your child when he/she does something right (try stickers, a toy, or a privledge such as watching another 1/2 hour of tv.) and if they break your rules they should have some priveledge taken away (no tv, time-out, grounding, etc.).  This is called operant conditioning.  As a school psychologist and ex-elementary school teacher, I can tell you that it really does work. 

Again, you must be firm, but not mean.  But if your child cries when a privledge is taken away, that is ok.  They can cry.  But dont give in and let them have it back.  Then you are, instead, teaching that they can manipulate you.

I suggest consulting a school psychologist or a child psycholgist who will be able to help you specifically with your and your child's needs.  And dont worry, it is hard to be a parent!  Getting help is a good thing!

This type of question always makes me sad.

I am the sibling of one of the children judged by the school-system.  I am a year older than my brother and I saw the school issues first-hand.  My brother could not get a fair chance at anything.  And, quite literally was bullied by his teachers.

Please don't assume the teachers are right, fair or honest. 

My little brother was a brilliant, humorous child who, had an IQ higher than that of his teachers.  Suffice to say, they had little to offer him that he couldn't get reading a book on his own. 

These are the students that teachers should go the extra mile to provide a learning environment tailored to the student.  Seems it's easier to write these children off as having ADD or AHDD and give them pills. I assume this by all the prescriptions given for this popular, highly over-diagnosed condition.  If our school systems weren't filled with inept educators, we would be harvesting these brilliant minds by allowing and encouraging them to grow at their own speed. 

My answer...

talk to your child like you would like to be talked to.  Allow your child to be listened to.  If there is mention of a particular teacher upsetting them, check it out.   Some of our country's brightest students fall between the cracks because of this.

Always be on your child's side; you may have given birth to the person who, will grow-up to eliminate Global Warming, find a cure for cancer or be president of our country.  Keep the faith!

You didn't mention his behaviors at home. I would like to quote here from a source that helps in behavior modifications, it relates, " Let's Face it, there's not much you can do as a Parent until your child is properly motivated. No Parenting technique, approach, talk, or change on your part will work until your child is motivated to listen to and follow your directions. Most children don't lack the ability to obey their parents or follow rules, they simply lack the motivation to do so. The Home Intervention System was developed by administrators of schools and programs for struggling youth and has been adapted for home use. The Home Intervention System shows you how to motivate your teen to make changes just like they do in these schools and programs. The System utilizes a simple but powerful Attitude and Behavior Modification Program. The Home Intervention System is designed to be used for children as young as five years of age and up. The Home Intervention System will help you deal with a wide range of problems that children often encounter including; anger, substance abuse, school issues, self-esteem, arguing, motivation, interacting with family, and more. I hope this information helps you a lot, just check it out, you'll definitely benefit by the system, even if they actually assign a Personal Parenting Coach to each parent. These coaches are highly qualified and motivated individuals with years of experience helping families.