Dislike my daughter's boyfriend

If you are a believer. A believer in the Trinity, the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, pray. Pray there present help in your abscense. Ask God to remove anything that maybe a hinderance to her.  And once you have done all of that, hold on to your faith and let God do the rest.  Sign Believer

Dear very uncool,

Welcome to the uncool club.  I am a mother of 4 so I have alittle experience here!  All four are in college.  Your work is done here....meaning, you raised her and now she must "fly"...first, you actually know about the boyfriend...so you are doing a good job so far.  If you say anything now you will be miss judged by your daughter as disaproving in HER and HER decisions......wait for them to break up....then you can "hint" to how you felt.  For now, be patient, and know you have alot of "uncool" supporters out there going through the same thing!

There is  very little you can do while she is away.being overbearing will only make her want to be with him even more. Perhaps trust that you have given her a keen sense of self and judgement and in time she will see him for what he is. Or maybe he is a good guy and it is your problem...time will tell

Hey there:-)

 I think all you can do is simply tell her you disapprove, but trust her instincts.  The more you try to push her away from him, the more rebellious she'll become - there might come a point where she only stays with him because either she just wants to spite you, or she doesn't want to hear "I told you so."

Be supportive, but let her know what you don't like.  After all, she's an adult and on her own at college.  She has to learn for herself.  I truly hope she just doesn't get hurt in the process.

Good luck!

Why don't you like him?  Is it the way he treats her? I'm curious...

i,  too,  do not like my daughter's boyfriend but tolerate him.  he is rude and at 25 knows everything and comments on it all the time.  i also don't know what to do.  good luck.

Been there - done that.  Ín our case it's six of one, half a dozen of the other.   Meaning, if your daughter is in for destructive relationships - then so be it -  there is nothing you can do.  Save your energy.

We've struggled with our daughter's, older, mentally controlling, gambling, violent and con artist boyfriend for years.  He started off wowing her, buying her expensive gifts then throwing the cost of them in her face, making her fall in love with him and creating strains in her relationship with us. He made her relive her childhood, found a few issues in the past, and then made her fight with us over them.   First time I met him he was eyeing other girls up and down.  However, he expected us to fork out for expensive meals for them, (saying it's payback for when he pays for her meals at his apartment)  wanted us to pay for her vacation with him & make his financial situation a little easier, he wanted a down payment for a condo (she doesn't have any money but on early dates asked her if we had any money saved for her and very interested in our financial situation).   He constantly belittled her, makes her cry a lot, she is depressed when she is with him and when she is not with him, he called her dumb (she's a University student), but she never moved in with him as she couldn't afford to pay 1/2 the rent (and we won't pay it) she has told us stories of his past negative relationships, where and how he tried to extort money from his past girls.   All negatives.   She is the IDIOT.   They've broken up several times and they keep getting back together.  When she is not interested he keeps texting into the wee hours of the morning, threatens everything and anything and himself.  We've called the cops because we had concerns for her safety once but they couldn't do anything unless there was an incident.  Believe me, we've tried everything, spoken to doctors, sent her for counselling, nothing is helping.  I believe she is now seeing him again and not telling us and they are thinking of getting married.  No, we are not paying for the wedding, we are not attending, we are not buying them a wedding gift.   She is on her own, penniless.  Let him support her.  We are not interested if they have any kids either. Yep, we've turned on our daughter too.   I never thought I could have created such a stupid girl.  It's all in black and white and she can't see it.  I've been really stressed out by this drama and the only way to make it stop is pretend she doesn't exist.