Dilemma

This is going to sound pretty pathetic, but I've liked a certain person for a very long time. We were never really friend, but we've had some good conversations at times. I see him on occasion around and we say hi to each other, but don't talk too much. We went to high school together and had some classes together so I can say he's a decent person and someone I know would fit in with my freinds/family. The thing is I'm so afraid to talk to him, even on the computer. I've seen pictures of his previous girlfreinds and I know I'm not the type of girl he seems to date, which is something I think is holding me back from talking to him. I'm usually a really confident person, but when it comes to him, I get freaked out. Any advice??


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177 helpful answers

Open the pod bay doors HAL

Chloe, my teenage daughter assures me that's it's perfectly acceptable for a girl to ask a guy out if she's interested in dating him. You may hesitate because you're afraid he'd turn you down and ruin the friendship, or others would find out and what would they think of you and etc., so there is a risk/reward aspect to asking him out. I suggest you let him know you're interested in more than a platonic friendship and find out if he's interested. You'll know what to do then. 

One thing I'd be concerned about is your comment below;

"I've seen pictures of his previous girlfreinds and I know I'm not the type of girl he seems to date,"

Does this mean he might expect you to change and be like the other girls if you should date him, and if yes, are you sure you'd feel cofortable making this change? 

 

Posted 2009-09-04T11:14:39Z
 
3 helpful answers

All i can tell you is to be yourself when you are around this person

Posted 2009-09-10T13:11:13Z
clints girl was invited by Yedda to answer this question.

 
1 helpful answer

Be his friend! Don't act interested. Find something you both have in common and talk about it or facebook chat. Talk about concerts coming up, highschool, etc. Just strike up a conversation. He'll never know you like him.

Posted 2009-09-14T04:50:33Z
.:: L ::. was invited by Yedda to answer this question.

 

Expect nothing but my honest opinion.

I'm gonna have to go ahead and say that the majority of answers given to you so far will not result in you getting this guy.  Gary999 definitely is on the right track but don't listen to the last part about the girls in this guy's pictures.

Listen, you have no idea what type of girl this guy is looking for.  Who cares what the girls in his facebook pictures look like.  I have tons of facebook pictures with girls.  Many I've never even been interested in.  it's just a picture I took cause I saw them out at a party or a bar and we know each other so we snapped a photo (the pictures have no say on his type).  I generally consider myself a brunette guy, however, I've dated girls who are blondes.  I'm sure if your just act your cool, outgoing, friendly, fun self with this guy, you'll be fine.  I'm not guaranteeing that this turns into a relationship but hey, what do you have to lose?  I mean if you can show this guy the best side of you, and he isn't interested still, then there's nothing you can do.  I rather find out someones not interested in me rather than sit around and just wonder.  At least I can move on and find someone else to go after. 

You'll never know his type until you get to know him more.  You'll never know if he's interested in you unless he knows your interested in him.  Of course you can sit around with your fingers cross and hope by chance he is into you and makes a move, but why wait for that to happen.  Show him your interested.  Don't fear rejection.  View rejection as a healthy thing.  Once you lose that fear, you will be able to go after whoever you want.  Rejection just tells you to move on with your life and stop losing sleep over a waste. 

I would make more of an effort to hang out with him.  Next time you see him, make a comment about you guys hanging out sometime soon.  Grab his phone and say, "here let me give you my number, shoot me a text."  Right there you are showing him you are interested.  You want him to have your number, you want to hang out sometime, and you want him to shoot you a text.  Then you'll have an idea if he is interested if he texts you or not.  If he doesn't text you, then that might be a sign he isn't interested but I wouldn't give up yet.  Next time you see him, give him a little guilt.  Joke around and say, you know I've been a mess sitting around for the last couple days/weeks waiting for a text from you.  See how he responds.  Watch his body language. 

If still nothing comes about, then just move on.  Don't stress on it.  But I think if you show your interest you'll be able to get some good signs back if he is interested back.  Just completely block out all the thoughts of what you think MIGHT be his type or all the images of the girls in facebook.  All that stuff doesn't matter.  What matters is how you act around him and handle the situation.

Let me know how things go and keep me posted.  Feel free to shoot me a message through this site or find me at Leftos.com/MC423

Posted 2009-09-17T21:08:10Z
 

for real,talk to him most likely he feels the same way.you need to go for it ,please why let someone go goes you get shy.be real for yourself,i promise you wont regret it.the best ones tend to be the ones we let get away go for it you are worth it and i bet he thinks so too.

Posted 2009-11-17T19:18:05Z

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