Unfortunately, the more important her orgasm becomes to you, the less likely it is to occur.  For women, the first requirement is to feel loved and valued and accepted.  When a man is disappointed in his wife's response, it makes her feel as if his love is conditional and that he doesn't respect her as a person.  Masters and Johnson solved many couples' problems by suggesting a course of treatment that included weeks of touching, caressing, and massaging without any expectation of it resulting in sex, much less orgasm.  And yes, finding a qualified marital therapist is a very good idea.