Kelli, I know how hard the loss of a mother can be. I recently lost my mom in October to cancer and it's been so hard getting through it and the flashbacks of what this terrible disease did to her and how she suffered to try and get through it. I still break down quite often when I think of her or see something that reminds me of her. You've gotten some good advice already though which is what I'm still trying to do and remind myself of. Hang onto the good memories and know that she's in a much better place and is no longer going through any pain and suffering. Take comfort in that and all the good times you had together. I feel your pain and wish you all the best. I don't know if the pain ever really goes away but hopefully after time it subsides enough to make it bearable. Take care of yourself and God Bless you.