I am so angry right now it's difficult to even try to explain the situation I'm trying to deal with. Essentially, my mother inherited a valuable piece of land from my father when he died and she has been wanting to sell it ever since. What she will do with the money is anyone's guess as she doesn't need it and this economy doesn't bode well for investments in the stock market, etc. I asked to be involved in the process as I have successfully sold several homes in that market (as an owner; I'm not a realtor). I know the area very well and know this piece of land like the back of my hand as I my dad and I spent a lot of time there.
My mother's family treated her very poorly when her parents died. Her only brother was executor of the estate (because he was a man and they thought a woman couldn't handle it) and was supposed to split it down the middle which would have given her about $2 million. He died a year after my grandparents and all that was left was $40K in a safe. He'd blown through the rest on boats, cars, a restaurant for his 4 kids to run as none of them could hold jobs, vacations, etc. So any inheritance my mother has came from my father's side of the family.
One of my cousin's from that side of the family is an admitted alcoholic and a jerk but my mother, for whatever reason, listens to everything he says. She and he claim, in the matter of this land sale, they've kept me in the loop on everything yet today when I called my cousin trying to locate my mother, he said she was with him and when I asked "what are you doing?" (nicely, thinking they were breakfasting or something), he got nasty and said "You don't need to know. Where your mother is is none of your business unless she wants to tell you." I hung up thoroughly confused. Later, he called to say they'd gone to see a realtor he likes and when I asked why it was such a secret, he said "It's your mother's land; not yours nor your dad's so deal with it!"
My mother and I then spent an hour at her house discussing things. I said I felt sad because she seemed to trust "David" more than she did me and I didn't know why as I've always been responsible and supportive. She got so angry she was totally out of control and it turned into her shouting and screaming things at me which had "hurt her"--things that happened 25 years ago. I'm not a shouter; I just get quiet and hurt and upset when she does this and I ended up throwing up and hyperventilating and crying. She was beyond reasoning with so I just left.
I feel like David is putting a wedge between us. She has made him executor of her will and runs everything through him. If anything, I have had a lot more experience in managing business deals--I negotiate contracts for a living and know a lot of the realtors in the area and the one "they" saw today is not well regarded and wants an 8% commission while the others ask for the traditional 6%. I can't even talk to David. I feel he puts down my father and is unnecessarily sneaky and mean and causing this odd triangulation which is sharply dividing all of us.
He does cater to her ego a lot by constantly calling her. I call her, too, but not nearly as much because of my work. I think a good example of how he manipulates things is when my mother had an 18 pound tumor in her abdomen, which was successfully removed and non-cancerous, thank God, she turned on me about a year later and said "David was there for me but you didn't even come to see me in the hospital." I work at the hospital, found her the best surgeons, was there the entire time--pre-op and post-op and even slept in her room while she was hospitalized. Then, my sister and I took care of her for several weeks when she came home. So I was dumbfounded when she said these things to me. My sister even weighed in and said "Mom, what are you talking about? That's totally untrue!" Well her "source" was none other than David--who hadn't been around at all. So that's the kind of person I'm up against as well as a 74 year old mother who seems to have some grudge against me.
I am at my wit's end and am sorry this is so long. I can't even refute things with them logically because they tune me out. If anyone has any ideas, I would greatly appreciate them because I am ready to just move away from all of this and feel devastated my own mother is turning on me. Both my sister and I and others who know David believe his ultimate goal is to get as much as he can from my mother when she dies; I can't think of another reason why he's doing all of this and lobbied to be executor of her estate. Anyway, thank you for any help/sage advice you can provide.
