Confused, hurt, and recovering slowly....

Chapter 2 Oh god did we use a condom oh my god I dont remember ugh thats not good I shook Kevin awake "Kevy, baby?" I said "morning baby" he said sleepily and kissed me "did we use a condom?" I asked worried "yes I'm not that stupid" he said with a laugh and fell back asleep Oh thank god I breathed a sigh of relief I couldnt go to sleep so I got up and put my underwear on and one of Kevins big shirts oh my god I loved his shirts they smelled like him I love that I walked into the kitchen and started to make breakfast I heard footsteps and saw Kevin walk in the huge kitchen of his apartment it was more like a small house than a apartment Kevin walked over to me and wrapped his arms around my waist I looked down at his hand and saw he was wearing his purity ring loosely on his left ring finger I looked at him puzzled he smiled and kissed my cheek then a wave of guilt swept over me I made him break his promise how could I oh my god Im a horrible person how could I cant believe I did this to Kevin his parents are going to hate me his parents are going to hate me his fans will hate me more than they already do I didnt mean for it to happen but the tears slowly slipped down my cheeks rolling under my chin and landing on my shirt "whats wrong babe?" he said turning me around "I- I- made you break your promise" I sputtered out "no you didnt I willingly did it and you know what?" He said smiling sexily I couldnt help but smile back "what?" I asked He leaned in and whispered in my ear "it was the best choice of my life" Oh god my knees went weak he really knew how to make me melt all I could do was stand there he smiled down at me and I finally regained my composure and continued making breakfast Kevin just laughed and stood behind me messing with my long reddish auburn almost brown hair "Elly?" he said "yea" I said turning around He took the silver chain I had around my neck that used to have my high school ring on it he unclasped it and slipped his purity ring on it and put it back on my neck "Kev-" I started "its yours, you were my first and I hope were together forever I love you and when you look at that ring remember our night together and how much I love you" he said smiling I smiled back and leaned up and gently kissed him "your so amazing Kevy" I said "after breakfast do you want to go out to starbucks and maybe spend the day with each other?" he asked "yea that sounds great but I need clothes" I said "oh you left some here when you spent the night last time" he said "oh okay" I said "why dont you just walk around town in my shirt?" he said teasing me something he loved to do "because then people would really know were together" I said unhappily he didnt notice he had struck a nerve with me figures he was blind to my feelings sometimes another thing that was bad in our relationship We ate and I took a shower and changed into the clothes I left there and we headed out to starbucks we got in the car and drove but the streets were full so we ended up parking somewhere else we started walking to starbucks I reached for his hand but he pulled it away I looked at giving the him the "what the fuck" look "I dont want us to end up in all the papers tomorrow" he whispered to me "Kevin if you cant show me you love me in public then you can kiss my ass" I said extremely pissed off This was going to get ugly ________________________________________ sorry for the wait idk when the next one will be out the whole story will be in Ella's POV

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http://www.lifesonelaw.com I can't let go of some past relationship or other issues. I constantly bring them up especially in fights with my husband. What can I do to let them go? http://www.lifesonelaw.com