Hello coriandermay,
I remember you from the last time you where here and I see that basically the same thing is still going on. This tells me that you might have what is refered to as a co-dependency. It is a type of addiction to each other in a way that causes dis-ease (at least for you), and you have difficulty making the necessary adjustment needed to create a funtional relationship with him.
It seems to me that he is trying to fill a gap that he is unaware of. When one forms a relationship in order to fill a 'gap,' a co-dependency will form. What that means is that each person involved uses the relationship to satisfy their own lack, or inner pain and fear. This is why the same type of uncomfortable situation continuously comes up, with no resolution. When and if a resolution is presented, there is resistance; like any other addiction.
Because you are the one who wants to create change in your relationship; becuase you are the one who wants to see your relationship for what it really is, you must take the necessary steps to do so. Your friend is apparently afraid to do this.
It is important for you to examine, for yourself, the aspects of this relationship. With brutal honesty be clear with your motives and emotional ties. Be clear with what you see going on between you two. Is this healthy for you? Does this bring you Joy, or fear and pain? Sometimes we can become addicted to fear and pain and give it the illusion of happiness. Becoming aware of this can be quite challenging; but, it will make you stronger. It will elevate your spirit. You will be able to, once and for all, see with clear vision. The decisions you will make at this point will be solid. They may be momentary painful, but you will know what you are doing, and that you are right with yourself.
This action, it itself, can even help to stimulate the necessary changes in him, so that he can examine his beliefs and expectations in relation to your togetherness.
You may, or may not, stay together, but, you will know who you are, and you will have a better understanding of your place in the universe.
With Kind Regards,
Daniel
