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RJM
Asked about “Love & Sex on AOL Coaches

Chronic Illness =No Sex

After 30 years of happy marriage and strong sex, my wife became chronically ill. Four years later, good sex has become zero sex. I don't like strip clubs-help? Should I get out of the marriage? Should I find another woman, and have affairs?


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6 thumbs up

Sealed

hello, Thirty years is a very long time to just trow away over sex. It hurts me to even think about it. Communicate with her find a different way, try oral sex together, love her more make her feel special, pray together and be patient. Imagine yourself being the sick one would you be happy if she had the same thoughts that you are having now? God bless your family.  celine

Posted 6 months ago ( permalink )
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8530 thumbs up

Love is the battery of life....

Dear DragonLady37,
I wish to thank you for the experince you shared with us...  It was very brave on your part to open your private intimate life to the bublic.  It is very touchy and much more important: sheds light on the whole issue.  I marked you "my friend" (contact). 
I wish you good health and the best of luck (that truely comes from the most inner parts of my heart).


Posted 6 months ago ( permalink )
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5218 thumbs up

Live simply, love generously and  care deeply.

 

Hi,

   I agree with OronD and Tiptopmanager.  Your wife needs your love and attention.  You had the marriage vows for you to remember.  She has given you devotion and love for the last 30 years.  Give this back to her now, not cheating or even the thought of cheating and being with another woman to have sex with.  I think this society has put a lot of emphasis on sex and selfishness.  It seems like the only way to feel happiness is getting sex and having orgasms.   This society does not give into consideration being happy with ones spouse is sacrificing ones human needs when one cannot provide sex during illness.  I think if I were you, I would be happy just to be with the person you love, being close and available to provide the care that she needs.  Life  and marriage is not all about sex.

    What would you do if the situation is the other way around?  You have the chronic illness, you can't provide her sex, and she thinks of cheating you?  Do you think  you'll feel good about it? 

   Be considerate and be a thoughtful husband.


Posted 6 months ago ( permalink )
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1298 thumbs up

   " I have my Freedom , but I don't have much time " Wild Horses . The Stones                                                  Protect The Mustang .

                                       

                                                  

                                                              



 
                                                                                                             

I am just sitting here shaking my head at you , your wife the woman you are suppose to love more than anything in the world is chronically ill .  And you are worried about your sex life and rather you should divorce your sick wife or go have an affair !   Just how do you think she feels , do you not think she longs for your touch , and would love to be able to make love with you like you use to .   Let me tell you a true story .  My husband the love of my life became chronically ill , and I never one time worried about my sex life I worried about him and took care of him , until the day I found him dead on the couch . 


Posted 5 months ago ( permalink )
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