Childrens' disinterest in family

You should try asking your children what they would like to do with family, both with you as the parents and with extended family.  I think that kids often feel like they are being dragged around to places that they don't really want to go.  It is also only fun if there are people there who are their age.  Maybe this means that you could let your kids bring a friend to certain things.  They would still spend time with family, but maybe they would see it as a more interesting and fun event.  Just some ideas.

I know exactly what you are talking about. Growing up, I didn't value my family in the least. They were just annoyances to me. It wasn't until I moved out on my own, that I realized how important it was to stay in touch with them and value the time I could spend with them. I think once your kids feel they have a little freedom, they will realize how important it is too.

Parents are sometimes reluctant to insist that their children do something right so in the end the children do the leading against their parent's wishes and good intentions. Just as children are forced to go to school to learn from teachers so children must be forced to do what parents feel is right. Children must be taught that "blood is thicker than water." Friends may come and go but family will always be wth you. And in the end they will realize that you are right and will appreciate the importance of family.

Find out what they actually do value and why.  Usually, if they are both working they are starved for time for themselves and a good rest.  If you plan something and do most of the work and make it a fun event instead of another task, there is a good chance they will want to come.  Also, do they understand that it is important for the kids to always be connected to their family and then do not criticize them or the kids when they are at your house.  Some day they will realize that their family cares about them more than anyone else and finally "get it."  Until then, keep trying.

Caring for family comes naturally to anyone and we are programmed to do so when need occurs.  Attending family functions or socializing often with family is not the only way to calculate one’s family values.  Let them enjoy their lives 10 times, they will make sure they share yours at least once.  Besides, love is giving, not expecting.  They need to understand this from your giving up of things for them and sure they will get back to you the same way.

Many people spend time watching TV programs and listening to music that are a bad influence and not uplifting or promoting good values... as well as spending mindless hours on the computer and no time with family.  Turn on the TV, the music, and the computer and your live will get better.