Brothers hate girlfriend

I think that your 2 sons are out of line.  Your son # 2 has decided to have this woman that he loves.  That is his own business.  The 2 sons should not meddle with his decision.  He is the one living with that woman.  What matters is your son is happy with her.  If I were you, I would just ignore what your 2 sons are doing, tell them that that is their brother's decision.  They didn't have to be consulted about his choice for a wife.  If they didn't allow you to see your grandkids just because of that, then you can't do anything about it.

    Just tell your 2 sons that their brother has his own life to live.  He does not mind about their choices so they should just leave him alone.  The more you pay attention to their immaturity, the more this creates problems.  Let them know that you and your husband is not siding with any one of them and that you both respect their decisions as to the choice of their mates.  If they still are upset, that is their problem, not yours.

I think that you are right that your sons are old enough to make decisions for themselves and live with the consequences if necessary. However, perhaps emailing is not the best way to communicate. If you could sit your sons down in person or go see them each individually, you might find less nasty responses. Sometimes it is easier to come off as angry and aggressive through writing than in person. If your sons could see you and see how upset you are with the situation, then perhaps they would be more likely to move on and respect son #2's choices. Most families have issues and/or family members who are difficult to get along with, but it should never keep the members from seeing one another. Take charge and ask your sons if they will meet with you once and for all to settle any problems. Good luck!

It sounds as if you have done everything you can possibly do, to fix the situation. I applaud you for trying in such a mature manner too.  I can understand the frustrations you may have....you love all three sons, and hate to see them like this.

I'm wondering...you don't say why sons 1 & 3 don't like son #2's girlfriend.  Have they even said why?  Has she maybe flirted with both of them?  Does son #2 have less time for his brothers than he used to, since he has the girlfriend now?  If you know, or can find out why they don't like her, maybe that would be the best place to start in resolving the matter.

The fact that sons 1 & 3 are now keeping your grandchildren from you, shows just how childish they are.  You can do nothing about that.

Good luck!