Hi,
I want to say, to everyone who has any advice, thank you so much. I really, really appreciate it.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half. He is 20 (21 in June) and I am 19 (20 in October). While I am fully independent of my parents (have my own place, pay for everything, etc) he lives with his parents because they have offered to support him while he is in school, which I am 100% ok with. Both of his parents are a little restrictive of him, especially his mother. She only allows him to spend 1-2 nights a week at my place...if he starts spending too much time with me, she gets upset and ends up yelling at him...while he's fully capable of moving out, I know he doesn't want to dissapoint his parents, who have such high expectations for him.
His parents and I don't have any problems, and from what he tells me, they like me as much as any parent can like their first born son's (golden child haha) girlfriend. They invite me out to dinner, and I've cooked dinner for them countless times. We are constantly giving gifts and seeing eachother, so whenever she gets upset at him, I feel a little hurt because I know I'm part of the problem.
We plan on getting engaged after he receives his BA (in two years) and would like to get married after he has his MBA and I have my BA (another 2-3 years after the engagement). I would definitely say we're a level-headed couple, both of us don't want to rush things, instead we'd like to wait so that when we *do* get married, we'll be able to buy a house right away...not to mention afford our wedding without too much debt :)
So....heres the problem...recently (earlier this evening) his mom called him while he was at my place and started screaming at him to come home. He left asap and I didn't hear from him until a few hours ago. Suddenly hes saying that his parents want him out, and that he wants to join the army, and "if I join the army would you still stay with me?" (he knows I really don't want him to enlist)....now I'm starting to freak out a little...because hes at his parent's house, he doesn't feel comfortable calling me, and when hes upset he doesn't like texting/talking until hes had time to cool down and collect himself and his thoughts...so, he won't fully explain the situation. So far hes told me that his parents want him to move out. I asked if it was because of me, that maybe they just got fed up with him spending too much time with me. He said that wasn't it, that there were "many reasons" although he didn't elaborate as to what those reasons are. I asked him how enlisting figured into all this, and he just said "it just does"...although I told that staying in school would be the more beneficial choice, which he agreed with....I feel completely at a loss. Just this morning we saw his parents, and they seemed to be fine! His mom said hi, we brought our kitten over to their place and stayed for an hour or two before heading back home to study and do hw. I just feel like withing the space of a few hours, everything is upside-down...I know that if he were to move out of his parent's place we would do just fine together, and I really don't want him to enlist. I don't know what I should say, because fankly I'm a little tired of his mom's antics. Its like things can never be okay for her...shes always upset about something! I want whats best for him...should I say "lets break up until you have your BA and can support yourself really well so that we can move in together and you can leave your god-awful mom"? Any advice, opinions, anything at all will help...I just feel so overwhelmed and at a loss....
Thanks,
m
