Birth mother

Torn up.  I would keep trying, but get a bit numb from it all.

I believe that it would be an awful situation, and that no one can really answer it for sure unless they are in that situation. As everyone is affected differently by such situations, and most of the time no one can no for sure how it would affect them unless they are in that situation.

I am very sorry for the pain that you have felt for so long.   Hopefully one day you will get the chance to know him. I  hope if he ever expresses  a desire to find you, they will be honest with him.   Take care and be good to yourself.

well i dont think anyone can begin to know how you feel inside till you have walked in those shoes.but i could never have children so i adopted my daughter.and the first trhing you say is im never going to tell her shes adopted,selfish that would be,right?but when we did she wanted to know who her mom was and why?and then she was fine.shes 21 now and can make her own choices and to be apart of her birth mothers life has not been one of them.but for you all i can say is im sure he wonders about you,and 9 times out of 10 sooner or later they want to meet you,they will find you.but you can always write a tv show that airs alot of those kind of shows and write them and tell them you just want the chance you never had,just to tell him you did love him and do love him and you were young, and did what you had to do.and that you have thought about him all most everyday since that day he was born and you need closer.also on the other side of the coin,what a terrible price to pay for one night of young foolish unprotected sex,that has scared your life ever sence.my heart goes out to you,but remember the parents he has now wanted him choose him and have loved him and given him what at the time you never could have,hes had a good home and good up bringing i mean come on hes in collage on a scolarship,if nothing else be proud of that,your heart hurts but you did the right thing,you did the only thing a 14 year old could do.did you ever think of adopting one now so you could give a life to a child now that you couldnt give then?and who knows one day you just might open your front door and be looking into the eyes of your sonthen your heart will know hes ok and you can go from there.my heart goes out to you ,but you need to find peace within your self good luck your fried dawna

If your son is of legal age, he has the say so about contact, rather than his adoptive parents. I suggest you find out if your state has a reunion registry. You also can use online registries. That way, if he wants to find you and checks there, he will find you. Also, you can write a letter to him for his adoption file, so that if he contacts the agency himself, they can send him the letter. Most adoption research indicates that boys are less likely to search than girls. Some adoptees never want to search and, as difficult as that is, you have to respect that. Remember, you did the best you could in the situation that you were in and you gave him the chance to grow up in two parent family rather than as the child of a very young parent who was still at home with her parents.