Bathing a kid is as natural as putting the kid to bed. I remember one time when I was about six years old and Mom came into my room (and tried not to look disgusted).
"Clean up this room! This is the worst sanitary hazard in American history!"
"But Mom, I can't clean it up!"
"Why not?"
"There is a monster under my bed!"
She cringed. "Son, there is no monster under your bed. Clean your room."
I refused. She glowered. "I'll prove it!" I put down my copy of Easyriders and slung on my toughest armored gauntlet. Then I gently lifted the covers and saw what I feared most.
I dove under the bed, and dragged it out with all my strength. It snarled, and dragged me back under the bed. I pulled it out again, and before it could slink away to safety, I beaned it on top about five times with my baseball bat as hard as I could -- and I had put baseballs out of the park!
It was green, had three oblong purple eyes, seven legs, a big gnarly set of jagged teeth, three claws you'd expect on the lobster from the black lagoon, and an attitude.
It stopped, its eyes rolled about for a few seconds, then it came to, grabbed the baseball bat, jerked me off the floor, and leveled the bat onto my head -- then it said, "Kid, you are too rude for your own safety! Quit antagonizing me!"
Then it stalked out of the apartment, down the street, into the sewer, and was gone.
Mom gasped at the pungent smell, heaved a disgusted cough, and said, "That was a liverwurst sandwich I made for you six months ago!"
"See, Mom, I told you there was a monster under the bed!"
Now, if I could just have convinced her about my invisible friend, Big Nasty . . ..