Reputation is an idle and most false imposition; oft got without merit, and lost without deserving.
~ William Shakespeare, Othello
Go with your gut and seek further medical advice. It is not entirely unheard of for children to be misdiagnosed. Some children with autism or Asperger's Syndrome turn their frustration outward (acting much like you've described your son behaving) while others turn it inward (becoming self-injurious).
If your son is on the spectrum, your complaint that he is an angel at school and a terror at home is not an uncommon one either. He probably feels "safe" at home so he meltsdown there rather than at school or elsewhere.
How did his language develop? How are his verbal communication skills now? Does her perserverate on one or two special interests? How are his motor skills (both gross and fine)?
Also, ADHD can be a co-morbid dx with an autism spectrum disorder.
Good luck as you search for answers.
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