I have beehotmail.comn living with a severe anxiety disorder since I was about 14 years old. I had run away from an extremely violent home, and when I was followed by my 9 year old brother I rented a house with money that I'd saved, and continued paying the $80.00/month rent with my many odd jobs around town that I had, over and above getting my high school. I learned to run and never stop. I learned to set high goals and achieve them. I finished high school with a 96% average (because failure didn't exist in my vocabulary). To fail was to be held back, to be held back was to die slow. I then worked for a year, saved, and put myself through college. After 10 years (1980 to 1990) in my profession I bought a beautiful house in a nice neighborhood, put down a large downpayment and paid it off in 5 years. In 1981 a psychologist prescribed me valium to ease chronic anxiety. He said that because of the life I'd led and the coping mechanisms I'd developed that I'd be "driving with the breaks on" all of my life. Valium really helped. I've been very active and successful in my life and in my professional career. My family doctor quit in July of last year.(2008) All the new doctors I've seen since won't give me valium. They say I must be addicted to it since I've been on it so long. I then tried to go it alone, but all the same symptoms that I suffered before I started on the drug came back. I never took too many of these pills because I knew they were addictive and I know better than to ever totally rely on anything or anyone. To be an addict goes against everything that I know to be true. I haven't been able to leave my house since last August. My heart beats like it's going to burst right out of my chest, I shake, I have nervous facial twitches (ticks), I can't concentrate on anything. I feel like I'm in a plane that's crashing and the pilot is gone. Has anybody out there ever had (or is having) a paralyzing life event like this, caused by severe generalized anxiety and couldn't get any professional help because you've been pigeon-holed into a stereotype? If there's no help for me out there, maybe there's some help here. Thanks. by Angie