Affair of 18 yrs

Hi,

I think you both realize that no good could come from such an absolutely and totally wrong (in every way) relationship. What you are both doing is immature and seemingly easy. Immature because you both refuse to foresee the consequences. So I would urge you both to be realistic and sever this relationship as soon as you can. It may not be easy and will be quite painful but certainly better than what could result. Be strong and do it. DO IT!!

You do not say what kind of releationship you have with your current spouse, but i agree that you are playing with fire.  The question I cannot help but ask is, Why did you end the relationship to begin with? If you continue to be a magnet to each other since the break up why did you start and complete separate other relationships and marriages?  Not only is it unfair to your spouses, but unfair to yourselves.  You do have to make a choice of what releationship is most important to you.  I take love and marriage very seriously and if my husband (if i were married) were doing this behind my back I would be devestated, but I also would rather let him go then to continue status quo because it is comfortable.  I suggest that you seek counseling and decide what you truly want and move on in that direction. 

I would like to hear what you decided and if you carried it through. You thank me for my honesty and I would urge you to be honest with yourself.

I know what it's like to have those crazy lust feelings for someone.  For years, the boyfriend I had~we would either be a couple or simply not talk to each other because we knew we couldn't "control" ourselves when we were around each other.  We are both married now to other people and we are not friends.  We are civil to each other when we see each other and that's that.  Not because we have bad feelings~just because we both know it's wrong.
My advice to you: Pick one or none and move on with your life.  Obviously you aren't happy with your husband since you cheat on him, and the man you are having an affair with doesn't truly love you either since he left you for another woman.(even though he cheats on her with you~doesn't mean he loves you)  i don't know what you need to help you realize that you don't need destructive relationships in your life to be happy~but you do.  Until you are a strong person on your own, you won't be happy with someone.  I hope this helps.