Daughter's birth mother wants to meet

Hello there, 

This is a difficult situation but not one you should be afraid of. I think it's important to keep things in the open and talk about them. Your daughter needs to be prepared for such a meeting and I think it would be helpful to explain the situation to her and to see how she reacts and how she feels.

I am a great believer in letting children take part in the decision making process. Otherwise children feel left out and a few years from now your child might feel anger towards the whole affair. The bottom line is that you're her mother with everything that stands behind those words. This is a situation that comes up sooner or later in every family that has an adopted child, even if the biological mother isn't around, for there is a constant search of identity, in adopted children's lives. 

I hope this meeting goes OK and that it will bring good things with it.

All the best to you and your family. 

Howdy...I would definitely suggest you fully preparing your daughter for the meeting, being very realistic about the meeting, you know, giving her different scenarios on how the outcome could possibly be, the good and the not so good.  Also, if you meet, please meet at a neutral spot, not your home but one that your daughter is already familiar with (like a McDonalds if you do meet out of town).  If possible, perhaps you can bring a third party with you, such as a good friend or even your daughters favorite teacher, just to observe and make sure everything runs smoothly.  Not trying to scare you but as a safety precaution, you may want to discreetly photograph the birth mother's vehicle and car license plates.  You never know in this crazy world we live in!  Good luck!