Originated from
AOL Coaches
9 thumbs up

"Know that Law of Sowing and Reaping"

How to Accept a Good Guy.... or even believe he's a Good Guy.

Does anyone have any advice on how to help me divert from becoming a "Male Basher". I haven't had the best relationship with my father, and most of the guys that I've dated just haven't been up to parr. When I meet guys that may be great potentials, I tend to pick them apart, in search for their negative characteristics. I know that I do it as a defense mechanism to prevent me from being hurt. What should I do?


Would you like to answer or comment?

Sign up for a free account, or sign in (if you're already a member).
Share Send to a friend Watch Report
 
 

Posted Answers

Order by
 
467 thumbs up

Up to now you have been assuming an active and aggressive role that is unlike the accepted role of a woman and have found you are an unsuccessful dater. Try to adopt the traditional role of a woman (I hope you can recall the English play, "She Stoops to Conquer") and allow your date to speak more with your encouragement and compliments instead of criticizing. I know it will not be easy but this is an approach that is essential for you if you wish to succeed.


Posted 5 months ago ( permalink )
In reply to honeybuns's question
Rated as
#1 out of 3
0
0

Helpful?

line
line
line



 
9 thumbs up

"Know that Law of Sowing and Reaping"

Thank you Rock for responding to my message. I hope your as mature as you look in the picture, I really enjoy conversing with both men and women of older generations... I guess thats why people of my generation come to me for advice.

 

Now back to my initial question.... I know what you mean by "stooping to conquer" but then again I dont. I hate to be conquered, it leaves me feeling vulnerable to getting hurt again. I dont male bash men when I initially find an attraction with them, or while in the midst of trying to work things out... I tend to bash them, to get over them, and make myself feel better about our failure. The bad part about that is... sometimes my false strength lingers on to the next relationship, and I've come to  the realization that the older I get, the more intolerant I become. One example of me trying to help myself get better is when I decided to reconcile with my son's father. He was my first real boyfriend, and he hurt me really badly, so just recently I decided that I'd mend our friendship, in hopes that I'd be able to let go of some of the pain that have led to me becoming this hard stone. Do you have some other recommendations that I should try to help me restore some of the love that I've lost? ( I didn't see the play you were refrencing ) I guess Im a little insecure about anyone ever loving me the right way, so I tend dismiss it with ease when it doesn't happen. And my skin just gets thicker. Sometimes I'm afraid that I've lost the traditional woman in me. ( I used to be a true sweetheart !)


Posted 5 months ago ( permalink )
In reply to Rock's answer
Rated as
#2 out of 3
0
0

Helpful?

line
line
line



 
467 thumbs up

The play, "She Stoops to Conquer," written in the 16th century England used to be required reading when we had English in high school. The plot revolves around a strong-willed woman who because of her character repels all her suitors. Finally someone tells her that if she wishes to marry she should become less aggressive (stooping to conquer) and she will then marry. It is fortunate that you do recognize your problem so that you can focus on it to avoid playing the game of an overly powerful woman. There is an entire school of psychology called Transactional Analysis which describes the various roles each of us plays out in life. One of the more popular books is called, "Games People Play," by Bourne. It might pay for you to read it but you should also consider seeking out help to help you change. Not changing will never allow you to have a happy and fulfilling life. I hope all this helps.


Posted 4 months ago ( permalink )
In reply to honeybuns's answer
Rated as
#3 out of 3
0
0

Helpful?

line
line
line



Sign in to participate

Got an answer for honeybuns? Would you like to comment on the posted answers, or vote for the one which you think is the best?

Sign up for a free account, or sign in (if you're already a member).

Explore Related Questions

Other people asked questions on similar topics, check out the answers they received:


Confused

I have been with my boyfriend for 7 1/2 yrs. We have been living toghether for the last 6. I don't understand why we haven't taken ...
Submitted by tracy4266 3 months ago
  • viewed 87 times

Last answer posted 3 months ago by OronD


How do I handle His jealousy and is there a "cure"?

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year and we are pretty serious. We are going to be married in the future, we just ...
Submitted by Ragdoll 5 months ago
  • viewed 192 times

Last answer posted 5 months ago by DB Lady


Little Confused......

I have been seeing a someone now for four months and things were going pretty good until about two weeks ago. For some reason ...
Submitted by spyman147 5 months ago
  • viewed 78 times

Last answer posted 5 months ago by OronD



» More...

Explore Related Posts in Forums

bush's ratings-discuss the issues, no bashing please.

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/05 0poll.html can we discuss without bashing. i've copied and pasted military advice that does not agree with their own ideas, makes for a strong military. i don't get how

I could use some advice please

to trust here the thougts and advice and i don't think i could of managed as well as ihave with gfg history. he's made some misktakes in our relationship. i will try to keep this brief. when we began

Advice needed desperately...I'm at a loss...

Hi All sis and bros out there would appreciate some real experience mature advice on my problem I'm a newbie in this forum as well as in a relationship.... After staying single for almost 10yrs
» More...
Powered by
Feed - Subscribe to changes to this Q&A Blog

Explore Related Videos

On The Quad Season II Auditions Teaser

"On the Quad" is a reality series that will be video pod cast on BCC iTunes U. The series will follow six Broome Community College "On the Quad" is a reality series that will be video pod cast on BCC iTunes U. The series will follow six Broome Community College students through the fall 2008 semester. Each week students will talk candidly about their experiences, successes, failures, relationships and topics such as classes, teachers, student and campus life, friends, sports, and more. All auditions will be posted for ipod viewing on BCC iTunes U. A number of students auditioned for a spot on "On the Quad" in front of a crowd of more than 300. The On the Quad podcast will truly offer an in-depth look at what it's like to be a student at Broome Community College, but will also focus on issues that students at any college can relate to.

Sexpert

Eugene Mirman is a Sexpert and gives dating and relationship advice.

Women

A friend of mine asked What I thought the role of a woman should be to a man...In a sense I think its the qualities of what I am looking for in a partner and what I would portray in their lives.

SYDD- D.I.V.I.A Stop Being So EASY!

www.lovein30days.com Shay Your Date Diva comes once again with the real deal on women who approach and pursue men and give up the goods too easy.

Lydia Waruszynski - Let's Talk About Love

Let's Talk About Love... Lydia talks about her ideas, experience and expertise on the topic of love and relationships. This is not a talk show, just a video about her group and private sessions.