My 3 year old boy absolutly refuses to pottytrain ...

Here is a site that may give you some help.

http://www.pampers.com/en_US/ltpt_tools_pottyguide.do?utm_source=ggl&utm_term=ltpt681&utm_campaign=letstalkpottytraining&utm_medium=cpc&utm_content=pg5183s

http://www.keepkidshealthy.com/parenting_tips/potty_training/index.html

http://familydoctor.org/online/famdocen/home/children/parents/toilet/179.html

Good luck and best wishes. 

most importantly, don't be hard on the little fella.  our 1st boy was still making a mess when the second was trained at almost 2 years younger.  they make up their own minds when they want to use the bathroom and no one can change that.  you can try having them aim at cheerios in the toilet or rush them to it when you see them freeze in their tracks (you know what that means if you have kids!) just be very supportive, gentle and encouraging and they will adapt a lot better!